“Make us yer first and second officers, Capt'n," they said. “Ye'll not regret it."“Oh," said Jesus, “won't I? Tell me lads. Can ye follow me when I sinks down to the ocean bed and take me place among the bones of dead men? Can ye join me when I drinks the bitter rum of the Almighty's wrath and drains it to its dregs?" “Aye, Capt'n!" said they, comin' on all wind and spume, “Aye, aye, we be the men for that.
"Well, well" said Jesus. “Indeed ye shall be sharin' in me trials, mateys. But I'll not be handin' out firsts and seconds this day."
Now when the other crewmen heard about this they took on mighty surly. But Jesus called 'em to assembly midships.
“What a brace o' laggards, ye are," he said. “D'ye think this be the House o' Lords? Are ye lookin' for airs and graces and fancy duds? “On this ship ye rise up by goin' down. Ye want to be high and mighty? Then get to the galley and bilge. Start servin' yer shipmates. “Take yer bearin' from your Capt'n, lads. Does he make ye wait on 'im? Does he take on like one o' the Admiralty? Nay, he'll be spillin' 'is blood for all yer sakes, afore this cruise be through."
(From Chapter 10: The Final Voyage Chapter – See Mark 10:35-45)
Tales of the Pirate Gospel is a free retelling of Mark's Gospel in the golden age of piracy. The theology is the same, but the language, setting, geography and parables have been changed. It's not the Bible, but it's good fun, and might help you to see things that you hadn't noticed in the Bible before.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1. Of His First Appearin'
Chapter 2. Trouble Brewin'
Chapter 3. The Plottin' Begins
Chapter 4. His Riddlin' Ways
Chapter 5. The Man o' Power
Chapter 6. No Escape
Chapter 7. Frauds & Foreigners
Chapter 8. Capt'n o' the World
Chapter 9. Last Days o' Galilee
Chapter 10. The Final Voyage
Chapter 11. Port Jerusalem
Chapter 12. A Battle o' Wits
Chapter 13. Shadows o' the End
Chapter 14. The Trap Springs Shut
Chapter 15. Through the Jaws o Death
Map of Pirate Judea
Andrew Moody is an Australian writer, designer and Reformed theologian. He lives in Melbourne where he teaches theology and runs a small graphic design agency with his wife. He has a doctorate in the theology the Trinity and loves telling stories to his children.