Andrew Moody : Tales of the Pirate Gospel – Sample

Tales of the Pirate Gospel – Sample

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Humor, Religion & Spirituality

For Readers Of

C.S. Lewis, Dave Barry, N. D. Wilson, J. M. Barrie, Kel Richards

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Print Length

120 pages


BrightMettle Press

Publication Date

February 28, 2015



About the Book    About the Author

“Make us yer first and second officers, Capt'n," they said. “Ye'll not regret it."“Oh," said Jesus, “won't I? Tell me lads. Can ye follow me when I sinks down to the ocean bed and take me place among the bones of dead men? Can ye join me when I drinks the bitter rum of the Almighty's wrath and drains it to its dregs?" “Aye, Capt'n!" said they, comin' on all wind and spume, “Aye, aye, we be the men for that.

"Well, well" said Jesus. “Indeed ye shall be sharin' in me trials, mateys. But I'll not be handin' out firsts and seconds this day."

Now when the other crewmen heard about this they took on mighty surly. But Jesus called 'em to assembly midships.

“What a brace o' laggards, ye are," he said. “D'ye think this be the House o' Lords? Are ye lookin' for airs and graces and fancy duds? “On this ship ye rise up by goin' down. Ye want to be high and mighty? Then get to the galley and bilge. Start servin' yer shipmates. “Take yer bearin' from your Capt'n, lads. Does he make ye wait on 'im? Does he take on like one o' the Admiralty? Nay, he'll be spillin' 'is blood for all yer sakes, afore this cruise be through."

(From Chapter 10: The Final Voyage Chapter – See Mark 10:35-45)

Tales of the Pirate Gospel is a free retelling of Mark's Gospel in the golden age of piracy. The theology is the same, but the language, setting, geography and parables have been changed. It's not the Bible, but it's good fun, and might help you to see things that you hadn't noticed in the Bible before.

Table of Contents


Chapter 1. Of His First Appearin'

Chapter 2. Trouble Brewin'

Chapter 3. The Plottin' Begins

Chapter 4. His Riddlin' Ways

Chapter 5. The Man o' Power

Chapter 6. No Escape

Chapter 7. Frauds & Foreigners

Chapter 8. Capt'n o' the World

Chapter 9. Last Days o' Galilee

Chapter 10. The Final Voyage

Chapter 11. Port Jerusalem

Chapter 12. A Battle o' Wits

Chapter 13. Shadows o' the End

Chapter 14. The Trap Springs Shut

Chapter 15. Through the Jaws o Death

Map of Pirate Judea


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