John is a dumb white husband. That is to say that he loves and cares for his family, is successful in his career, popular around the neighborhood, can dress himself (often without injury) and is capable of reasonable thought. Demographically, however, he functions like a 4-year-old that can’t quite master the intricacies of the potty.
It isn’t his fault. He studied hard and got a college degree. He works hard and earns a comfortable living. But, like all other dumb white husbands, he leads a dual life; competent member of society by day, helpless male by night, weekends and holidays.
He has served for years as the nervous legal department-approved foil of commercials, TV and movies. And, for this service, we thank him. No one has ever cared to look inside the mind of the dumb white husband – probably for a fear of what we might find – but, if we took a minute to consider it, we may see that he’s not as dumb as we all think. But, he probably is.
In this adventure, Dumb White Husband goes to the grocery store.
Also available in the collected edition The Big Book of Dumb White Husband.
I was born in Canada; I grew up in Texas. In between I've had a thousand fascinations.
Little things. Trivial things. Almost anything can catch my imagination and spur on a thought-a random article on Wikipedia can cost me hours of a day as I link from page to page.
Mix this active imagination with poor time management skills and you get me. I have more ideas for stories than I have time to tell.
But, I'm trying; I write in the wee hours, the downtime hours, and the many hours when I should be sleeping. One day I hope to write in the daylight hours. Maybe then I'll be able to stay a step ahead of my imagination.
Until then I'll do my best to write books worth reading with jokes worth laughing at as fast as I can. The serious stuff is being taken care of by a world full of great writers. I don't want to shock you or change your mind. I don't even care if it makes you think. I just want you to squirt that drink out your nose.
Hope it's not carbonated. That tends to sting.